
Lucky for you, this week has been full of "Not Me's!"
In this very moment, I'm reflecting on my highly anticipated dentist appointment that occurred bright & early this morning. I
DO NOT currently have 4 cavities, 3 of which need fillings, with 1 needing a crown. I
WAS NOT thinking, "hey, that's pretty good" considering the fact that last year I totaled approximately 9 cavities (too many I've lost an exact count). Adam
NEVER EVER gives me an extra hard time about my dental mishaps, and I would
NEVER even think of lying to him about my dental health. He
DID NOT seriously ask me if I would even have any teeth left later in life, and I
DID NOT act like he was being super dramatic while secretly wondering the same thing about what the future holds for my "decay prone" teeth.

Backtracking to the weekend, we
DID NOT blame Moonshine '09 for all our troubles on Saturday as we drove to Dahlonega. This Dawsonville festival would
NEVER attract one of the roughest crowds ever, and we would
NEVER EVER make fun of the 'locals' who attended this festival. Adam
DID NOT lose his temper
EVEN ONCE as we sat in hellacious traffic trying to make our way to Amicalola Falls with our infant in the backseat who was on a countdown to eat.
We
DID NOT aimlessly search for a vacant spot so I could nurse Alaina in the car. I would
NEVER choose a vacant church parking lot to nurse my baby, and I definitely
WOULD NOT stare at the stained glass windows just hoping not to see someone staring back at me. I
DID NOT have to pee so bad after drinking my mocha coffee that I was wondering if I would make it to a bathroom. Realizing this, I absolutely positively
DID NOT consider peeing outside around the bushes or the trees in the church lot. But I refrained and held my pee until we reached Amicalola Falls, our first destination.

Upon arrival, I
DID NOT forget about little Alaina for a split second in an attempt to locate a bathroom. Once the bathroom was spotted, I
DID NOT feel the need to sprint to this location in my high heel boots through gravel and wood debris. While lightly sprinting, I
DID NOT get held up by a crew filming a documentary about a group hiking up the Appalachian trail. This group would
NEVER fail to notice that other people exist, blocking the tiny bridge leading to the bathroom. I
DID NOT hop through a ditch just to avoid this blasted crew. Once I finally reached an available stall, I
DID NOT get super nervous when I noticed that the toilet seat was down AND when a wretched smell hit my nose. After opening the lid, the toilet was
NOT NOT NOT clogged with toilet paper
AND DIARRHEA!!!!!!!! I
WOULD NEVER even think of staying in this filthy stall considering the sight and stench to continue my business. This was
NOT the longest pee of my life and I
DID NOT have to cover my mouth and nose with my hand the entire length of my pee! Whew!
Once my bladder was emptied, I returned to my Alaina who was with her daddy & grandparents. Adam's parents were there having a Sunday School social/lunch and we joined in the fun. However, what's
NOT fun is forgetting your jacket on a breezy, cloudy, cold day in the mountains. What's also
NOT fun is not dressing your baby appropriately for this weather. The only hat we had on hand was one that she had outgrown probably weeks ago. She
DID NOT look like this in her hat with her poor little ears exposed to the cold mountain air...

We
DID NOT drive 3 hours (with traffic) just to get somewhere and then pretty much turn around and come home. We
DID NOT shun Burt's Pumpkin Patch, our annual tradition, because we were uncomfortably cold. But at the end of the day, our family was safe, healthy and warm. And Alaina got to spend time with her Nana (formerly Rah-Rah) & Poppy while mommy & daddy had an elegant dinner date at The Oar House.
(My view of Burt's this year) :(

Speaking of Alaina, she absoluetly
DID NOT fart - excuse me, "toot" - incredibly loud just now in her swing. She would
NEVER feel the need to wake herself up just to perform this task, and then fall right back asleep as if it never happened. Ha, ha!
HAPPY MONDAY, FOLKS!