Too Much Too Soon

Alright, you either told me so or thought it...I took on too much, too soon. I hate being proved wrong, but I'll admit it. I had my reasons for going back to work on Monday, but my body soon had the final say so as to whether I could continue on as normal. As I previously posted, I worked for about 5 hours on Monday. It wasn't too bad, but my mood was terrible and emotionally I wasn't ready. Then Tuesday I tried it again, although it was full time for me. I worked for 9 hours straight, by myself. I had every intention of going to work and just being a warm body in the office. I would open the doors and answer the phones, take messages, etc. I brought my heating pad with me, so that provided me some relief. But my plan backfired. Of course on Tuesday, the phones rang off the hook all day, someone stopped by with all her paperwork to get an insurance policy (for 2 hours!), and everyone needed everything right away. I overdid it.

So my body quickly reacted to the over-activity. Tuesday night, I was in tears because my muscles hurt so bad. My back and neck were in so much pain, and my stomach was still very sore. I just hurt. My wonderful husband gave me a massage, but it was not enough. Wednesday morning, my alarm sounded and I couldn't get out of bed. I was hurting and super tired. I called my boss and told him I wasn't going to make it in today. So I rested for much of the day, taking it easy and spending time with Adam. He took care of me and is being an exceptional helper, not complaining a bit.

The best part of my day was the 1 hour deep tissue massage that Adam booked for me. It was wonderful! The strange part was that the massage therapist told me some interesting things about what she observed in me. I did give her very vague details about the miscarriage, just when it happened and that it happened. Nothing else. Near the end of the hour, she did some kind of energy transfer technique. Something I've never really heard of. She lightly touched parts of my body, my tummy, etc. After the massage was over, she said that there are many things going on in my body. She said that when she was assessing the energy flow through my body, she could feel extreme confusion my middle section's energy flow. It was supposedly flowing fine through the top of my body, but as soon as she tested my middle section, it went haywire. She said when she put her hands over my stomach, she felt a grapefruit-sized concentration of my body's energy on the right side of my stomach. She said she can tell where the energy is partly by the heat it gives off. I was shocked she said this because my ultrasound proved that the baby was positioned in the right side of my abdomen and I was told that my uterus was the size of a grapefruit. I never told the therapist these details and she touched the problem area while explaining this, and I knew that this was the exact place where the trauma occurred. She supposedly transferred the energy through her technique and when she assessed the flow afterwards, it was flowing better than it had been originally. This may sound hokey, but the details she discovered fascinated me. My body is going through more stress than I realized. And to help with the pain, my doctor prescribed me Lortab today. I took my first dose tonight, so I have no idea how my body will react. I may or may not go into work tomorrow, depending on how I feel and how I react to this new medication.

Adam is getting frustrated with me a little bit because I'm not taking time to heal. I'm trying to jump back into life, and I'm worrying about everything at the office and putting other things ahead of taking care of myself. I'm starting to realize that I'm important too, and I shouldn't be so concerned about other people and about other things, like the office. He's worried that I'm not healing properly. So I may take his advice and just stay home another day. I will sleep in and see how I feel tomorrow.

Good night.